Almost 10 years ago, Keri Hilson was poised to become the next R&B-Pop sensation. The singer had collaborated with the likes of Timbaland, Lil Wayne, Akon, Kanye West, Nas, Chris Brown, Fabolous, and many others, but in 2011, Keri Hilson bowed out from the limelight. For nine years the singer laid low to address her mental health concerns, and in a recent interview with Fox Soul, Keri spoke about her depression and finding herself during that time.

Keri Hilson, Beyonce, Fame, Hiatus
Alberto E. Rodriguez / Staff / Getty Images

Keri also reflected on what it was like as a newcomer in the industry with the pressures of compromising for the sake of fame. “Early in your career, you feel like you have to listen,” she said. “When you buck, they buck harder and they make threats. Those threats are huge ones. You don’t feel like you have a choice. I really didn’t feel like I had a choice… You learn to fight harder, but I didn’t have enough fight in me at 20, 21.”

When the remix of Keri Hilson’s song “Turnin’ Me On” leaked, she was accused of trashing Beyoncé and Ciara with the line, “You can dance, she can sing but need to move it to the left.” Later, news circulated that the singer even refused to pose for a magazine because the cover would feature Beyoncé and Jay-Z. Keri now says that the beef was strategically staged to frame her as if she was targeting the Grammy Award-winning singers when in reality, that wasn’t the case at all.

“Was not my lyrics, was not my writing, was not my doing” said Keri of the infamous lyrics. She added that she paid the penalty because she was a green artist living her dream. “Then, I’m caught. Do I tell the truth? Do I expose them early in my career? I’m super young, super new. This [is] my first album. It just soiled my whole dream.” Check out Keri Hilson below.